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Goofballs


Ingredients:

1 jar of peanut butter
1 small can of sweetened condensed milk
some powdered sugar
chocolate chips (optional)
mini M&Ms (optional)
assorted sprinkles and jimmies
misc. (optional)


Don't question the measurements, they're tradition.

Remove the peanut butter from the jar by whatever means necessary. Pour the condensed milk over it, pausing to make obscene jokes. Throw in a handful of powdered sugar and attempt to stir it in with a spoon.

Toss the spoon aside and mix it with your hands, because you're going to get it all over everywhere anyway. Add more powdered sugar until the stuff looks right. It should hold its shape when rolled into a ball, but still have a greasy sheen. Fresh Goofballs should be a little moister than you're used to seeing them because otherwise sprinkles will never stick and they will dry out and crumble before party time. You can add chocolate chips or M&Ms now.

Roll the stuff into bite-sized balls and coat in sprinkles. Chocolate jimmies are a favorite, but no one seems to like the hard, round, multicolored kind. Colored sugar is also a good option.


Popular Goofball Variations

For Goofballs 10 through 13, an element of surprise has been added — secret centers. Goofballs can be filled with or coated in anything you have in the kitchen, with some horrific results. Anna Richardson likes her Goofballs with olives. Marshmallows and chocolate candies make for tasty fillings, but mustard and Spam are not so nice. A coconut coated Goofball may catch your fancy, but be careful not to pick up parmesan cheese instead.

For Amber and her peanut allergy, we developed a fancy, expensive version using Nutella. Just scale everything down a little because it comes in smaller jars. Use of Vegemite to make Goofballs is highly frowned upon.

Goofballs make an excellent sculpting material for those interested in edible art. Matt and Bethany, who joined the party planning committee in 2000, like to make them anatomically correct.

There is no such thing as a vegan goofball. Sorry.


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